Here's Your Sign!
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid."
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't
see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes
and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over
and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our
stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's
your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass
and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one
way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on,
it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and
you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all
right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road
gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at
me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.
I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just
swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to
the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back
to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust
pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing
his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't
you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck
and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for
help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went
through his basic questioning ... okay....no problem. I thought for
sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is
your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked
back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering
a bridge... here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said,
"Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about
10 minutes ago.
Here's your sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today? The next time someone says something
stupid, ask them where their sign is.
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